Life With Ella

As I am writing this post I can’t stop thinking about Bug.  She died 2 weeks ago today.  The pain and sadness I feel is so deep right now.  I miss her so much – especially late at night – she used to stay up with me.  Sometimes it’s easy to just love her and remember her but sometimes it’s just so painful.  Right now is one of those times.  I wish Bug would just walk into the room and tell me that everything would be ok, but she won’t.  I just need to be with my tears and emotions and just let myself feel.  I had so much love for that dog.  Love is the best.          Today, we went to an all school picnic for Ella’s school.  It was actually on the campus of the school so it was so much fun.  The kids played with eachother, we got to connect with other parents, and we were able to watch Ella interact with all of her school buddies.  I think the picnic was great for the old and new families.  After the picnic, we came back here and Ella got ready for Taekwondo and I stayed back to deal with a Comcast issue.  When Ella and Sunny came back, Ella and I went to Stella and Juliet and KJ’s to play.  The girls all had a lot of fun.  We came home, cooked dinner and then we watched the sound of music.  I think Ella was pretty into it,  She loves music so much.  I didn’t take any pictures at the picnic.  Just believe me when I say that it was a lot of fun. Ella before taekwondo class. Playing around with friends in the class. Stella and Ella creating with dough. Ella was playing dress up over at the Kim/Krena household.

Hard to believe that this week is over.  It’s been quite full and I’m not even working right now.  This morning when we got to school, Alicia gave Ella a part in the assembly.  Ella and another kid were supposed to hand over the keys to the school to our new head of school, Molly.  They were actually these huge keys that each pre school class made. Ella did a great job – she was really cute.  After school Ella and I went to Bi-rite and had delicious salted caramel ice cream.  After ice cream, Ella and I visited Becca at work.  Remember- she is the head of Animal Care and Control here in SF.  She thought they had a dog that we might like.  We got there and met a really sweet whippet/italian greyhound/chiuaua.  He was really sweet but really hyper and immediately lifted his leg and peed on a garbage can (inside).  He loved Ella, but I don’t think he’s the dog for us.  We need one who is completely housebroken.  After that, we had dinner with Stella and Juliet and watch a Madeline movie for Friday night movie night.  We had lots of fun. Big girl walking out to the assembly. Just simply beautiful. Ice cream at Bi-rite. Ella doing some learning at home.  She loves these books! Friday night movie night!  I guess this was a serious part of the movie!         Here’s the video…

First, I need to write about Ella’s day at school.  We both picked her up and she was in such a great mood.  Sunny asked Ella how her day was and she said, “It was the most awesomest day”.  Then Sunny asked her to name 3 things that made her day so awesome.  “First, Ms. Alicia sent me to the big building all by myself to go pick up some words for the assembly.  I felt like such a big girl.  I knew that I could do it and I did it.”  This was so huge for Ella.  It was like her whole world changed today from that walk to the main building.  The other two things that made her day so awesome were “playing with Emmi and that I love coming to school.”  How beautiful is that?!  We got home and the Annie wig arrived.  It is a very cheap wig and looks crazy, but Ella was so excited to put her whole ensemble together.  After staying like Annie for a few hours, Naomi and her friend Marin came over for another Rosh Hashana dinner.  It was a really sweet night.  After dinner, they all danced a little to Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana and then we broke out some instruments.  Ella played the ukulele and then took out her trumpet and made some pretty cool sounds. Here she is…Little Annie  Tweety wanted to try on the wig. Lighting the candles all by herself. Pretty good family shot. Dancing with Marin and Naomi. Our little trumpet player.

Happy New Year to all who celebrate.  I can really use a new year about now.  Maybe we will welcome a new puppy and maybe I will get a new job or start a new career…who knows!  Ella continues to be so happy at school.  It’s a beautiful thing.  I still remember her first day back in 2008 – wow – we have all come a long way!  After school, Ella helped us get ready for Rosh Hashana dinner.  Sunny cooked a delicious dinner – brisket, rice pilaf, broccoli, carrots, Debby brought a wonderful kugel and Becca brought a delicious dessert.  Ella and Jaeden had a pretty good time with each other.  They have very sweet moments and then they have their moments where Jaeden does things to try to push Ella’s buttons and he does exactly that.  The evening was filled with high energy and it ended with Debby and Toby reading Ella the Eloise book.  Ella went to bed pretty late tonight – sorry if she’s exhausted tomorrow Alicia! Ella at school this morning.  That’s Ms. Gladys in the background. Ella and one of her buddies Emmi working on a puzzle this morning. Sweet Ella before her shower. About to light the candles to bring in the New Year. Very serious about lighting the candles. Part of the ritual. Ella drawing and Jaeden right behind her threatening to erase her work. Working on cooperating. Good idea Deb – split the dry erase board in half. Debby, Toby and Becca after a great meal. Love you – happy new year…now it’s time to do the dishes! Ella’s artwork from tonight.  Check out the butterfly.  Ella told us that Alicia found a butterfly (dead) yesterday and the kids got to observe it under the magnifying glass.  I guess it made a pretty cool impression because this is the first time that Ella has drawn a butterfly in such detail.

AJ and Milo were supposed to come today but Milo had a rough time at the airport – he wouldn’t stop crying and was really working himself up so AJ decided that she didn’t feel comfortable flying alone with Milo.  AJ – we totally understand.  We wish you guys were here with us but we get it!  Love you!  The day in SF was pretty overcast but we could tell that the sun was trying to come out. We decided to take a little trip to the Oakland Zoo.  It’s always fun there.  We like the sky ride and train ride and the animals are sweet when you can find them.  We had a really sweet day there – Bug was heavy on my heart and Sunny’s heart but that’s part of love and life.  We are heading to Gilroy Gardens in the morning with the Kim/Arena clan.  The kids are going to have a blast. The 3 of us on the train. Our big beautiful girl. Ella was watching this monkey put on a show. Standing on giant snake eggs. Riding a giant caterpillar. Spidergirl. A refreshing ice pop on a hot day. Ella is growing up in front of our very eyes.  She’s totally into Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montanna…a little scary.

There is nothing more beautiful than picking up Ella from school, having her run to me and give me a big hug and then want to go back and play with her friends.  Ella is so happy and confident this year at school.  Her whole energy feels different.  I guess being one of the oldest kids in preschool is really making a difference for Ella.  We both met Ella after school and took a walk over to Bi Rite.  Brickelle (who is now in kindergarten) came onto the yard to meet Ella and they gave each other the biggest hug.  It was so beautiful.  They were both so happy to see each other and they are both doing well in their own classes!  We all walked over to Bi Rite together and saw a lot of other CDS families there.  It was a beautiful day and a great way to end the week – having great ice cream.  Tonight the movie picked was “A Bug’s Life” – pretty intense choice since it will be one week since Bug died on Saturday.  Last Friday night, we were all saying goodbye to Bug. We had a sweet night tonight. On the way to the car.  Ella skips to school!  She is so happy there. You can just feel the happiness through the photo. Beautiful kids! Brickelle, Ella and their buddy Maya. Brickelle, Ella and Brooklyn – I can”t believe how much he has grown up. A great San Francisco scene.

Ella had another great day at school today.  She seems really confident and excited about learning and exploring.  A lot of the new kids are still having some trouble adjusting.  Ella did a crying report yesterday and did another one today.  She thought it was great that this one kid who cried almost the whole day yesterday only cried in the morning today.  She also told me that I kid was saying the word “stupid” when they were outside playing on the structure.  Stupid is a word that we do not use in our family and Ella knows how strongly we feel about it.  She does not use it either.  I asked her if anyone said anything to the kid and she said, “No, we were outside so none of the teachers could hear him but I said something, I told him to stop saying stupid”.  I asked her how he responded and she said, “He didn’t stop”.  Then I asked her what she did when he didn’t stop and she said, “I walked away”.  Whether all of this happened or not, I like it that she said that she walked away.  This is a good skill to have.  After school, Stella and Juliet came over and the girls hung out.  Stella started kindergarten at Friends on Wednesday and Juliet is in her final year at Pacific Primary.  It was sweet for the girls to get together after their separate days at school.  I had a massage tonight and then met everyone at Blush.  AJ and Milo are coming this weekend.  I am really excited to see them and also excited to see KJ and Milo together. Ella by the elevator…she still looks a little tired. In the classroom checking out the fingerpaints. Jumping on the trampoline – maybe it will wake her up a little. Ella and Stella tonight at Blush trying to get some Fruity Pebbles in every bite.  Notice KJ with his sweet little frozen yogurt goatee.

Life is beautiful and we miss the shit out of Bug.  Sunny and I are both super sad about Bug.  We probably break down crying a few times a day.  Ella is doing just fine.  I guess we prepared her for Bug’s death.  It also really helps that we have Towby.  He is getting a lot of attention.  He seems like he misses Bug.  She was a great dog and we were so lucky to have her for as long as we did.  On Sunday, Ella asked me when school started.  I told her that on Tuesday, we all had an orientation where the kids and parents would be in the classroom together for 45 minutes and then the kids could go out and play and the parents had to stay in the classroom to find things out about the school year.  Then I told her that her first day of school was Wednesday.  All of a sudden she yelled, “YAY!!! Miss Alicia!!”  This made us feel so good that Ella was excited to go back to school and to see Ms. Alicia.  We’re excited for Ella.  This should be a great year for her.  She has grown so much over the summer in so many ways.  I think she’s also ready to be a “big kid” in the classroom.  She told me that if the younger kids were having trouble, she would want to give them a hug.  I think Ella got a lot of hugs her first year.  Today, Ella and I had lunch at Crossroads Cafe and then Stella and Juliet came over for an afternoon movie.  They all go back to school on Wednesday so it was a special before school movie afternoon.  Ella had so much fun that she cried when they left. Ella was running around the garden at Crossroads pretending that she was a fairy. We went to Southpaw pet store and Ella visited with a new friend. Helping mommy cut the artichokes for dinner. Our beautiful beagle boy Towby. Tonight Ella was adding texture to dry erase artwork by using a toothpick to make white lines.

We woke up this morning and Bug was breathing really heavy.  Sunny and I decided that we needed to take her to in and put her to sleep.  I went over to Helen and Ron’s and asked them if they would take Ella for a little while.  I told Ella that we needed to take Bug to the vet and that we thought that she was going to die today.  Ella looked at me and said, “Really?”  I said, “really”.  Then I told her that she was going to go over and hang out with Stella and Juliet – she yelled “YEAH!” and jumped out of bed.  Once Ella was next door, Sunny called the vet and asked them if we could bring her in.  They said that we couldn’t come in until 10:30.  It was only 9:00 and Bug just seemed like she needed to die.  We kissed her and hugged her and told her that it was ok to die and that she was the greatest dog.  We both just sat together and cried.  About 5 minutes later, Bug died on her own.  It was actually so peaceful and I am so happy that she did it on her own terms.After the very sad morning, we went on with our day as planned – for our sake and for Ella’s sake.  First, we met Bronwen, Georgia and company for Dim Sum.  Ella really loved seeing her cousins and it was great to spend time with David and the girls.  After Dim Sum, we came home and rested for a little while.  At 3:00 Ella went to Taekwondo class.  She loves it so much.  She gets into the studio and starts running around, chasing the other kids.  She kind of got zoned and silly by 4:30 but that’s a long time to stay focused!  We came home from class and rested again and then Ron, Sunny, Ella, Juliet, Stella and I went to see the “Broadway” version of Beauty and the Beast.  The girls really loved it and had a great time.  What a day and night.  Life is quite incredible. Ella and Georgia at brunch. Ella and Bronwen at brunch. Does she look like she’s having fun or what????? Getting ready to go see Beauty and the Beast. This would have been the perfect shot if Ella wasn’t blinking but you can feel the love.